"I shoot a lot of happy dramas. When I get married by myself, I think that's a big deal."
50-year-old Jin Jing director Qu Youning is deeply loved by fans for idol dramas such as "I May Not Love You" and "Aphrodisiac Kiss". His works often have romantic and beautiful endings. In his real life, he suddenly "was divorced" when he was over 40 years old. Although things have been going on for many years, this regret is still in his heart.
"I divorced very suddenly. I was fine the day before, but my wife suddenly said she was going to divorce the next day. She might have thought about it for a long time, but I didn't even notice it."
In 2007, Qu Youning married his 9-year-old girlfriend outside the circle, and was busy filming the TV series "Delicious Relationship". After marriage, the director's work is as busy as it is not easy to consider family and work, and it is not a question that women have.
The confusion of middle-aged divorce: Is it wrong to work hard?
"The reason why I want to divorce may be that I am too busy and ignore some of her feelings. Her ending is like a close relationship, and there is no need to be a hot relationship." The shock, confusion, heartache, and hard work to turn the crazy is in vain. The middle-aged man's blow to get divorced is not inferior to that of a woman, and he has received less attention.
"I was very sorry at the beginning. What did I do wrong? Do you think you are not worthy of happiness and should not be loved well? Do you want this family to be fully satisfied to the end? Is it bad? Is it hard for you to work hard, not for them? These things keep bumping into themselves."
Regarding the desire for love and self-doubt after divorce, these lyrics that look like the heroine of an idol drama come from Qu Youning. It’s like life, and the pain of divorce is not distinguished between men and women.
two people's affairs are never simple. Behind the dazzling reputation of the director, the ex-wife also longs to have herself, not always "Qu Youning's wife". "She doesn't want her world to be Qu Youning's world. She has the career and life she wants. This reminds me that everyone is a body and has their own life." What should I do if the person who is with him leaves and stays?
My heart is so big, don't let "regret" occupy the precious life
Qu Tang calmed down for a while, looking out the window, his eyes with deep sadness. The sun shines brightly on the outside, and in that moment, it was unusually calm in the office full of the bear Vini doll.
"This is really difficult. I was just thinking about how I walked through that time. It seems that I really need to divert my attention and change my life." Since childhood, he has been determined to be a director and has always been doing his best in filming. He decided to devote himself to work and relieve pain.
In pain, he also has rational thinking. "Since you can't even get it back, do you want to let it last for one year, two years, three years, five years, or ten years?"
"I can "enjoy" the regret now, which is not something that can be done immediately, but you must quickly get out of regret so that you can feel more."
"A heart is so big. If regrets are full, you have nothing else. But if you leave 20% of your regrets, you still have happiness, anxiety, and vitality to enjoy."
When you reach middle age, you will only have more regrets, but "regrets" are originally part of life. The blow of divorce should not break the entire life.
"It is necessary to look at this regret from another perspective. Even if I still feel regretful when I think about it, I am no longer so involved in that regret." He slowly accepted the fact of divorce, and at the same time, he broke the traditional framework of marriage.
Marriage is not the point, how to run a "happy relationship"!
"There are too many unreal things in the framework. What can a marriage be bound? There is legal guarantee, and then what? Do you care about these guarantees or this love so you get married? If you don't get married, will you not be in love? Then since you are going to run, why do you care whether to get married?"
We all forgot that marriage is just a form, and the core of emotional management has never changed, and it is spent in the day-to-day fragmented daily life.
Qu Youning's view of many middle-aged marriages that have entered a dull and unsightly viewed each other. "You only see the quarrel, but you don't see that because communication makes you understand better, because life is dull, you need to stimulate. If you look at many aspects less, you will lose more of this thing."
"Don't forget that from middle age, you have the ability to look at things in a diverse way."
In addition to changing from one perspective, there is a unique story in the nature of the director, who is naturally optimistic, who always "thinks later." "I was very angry when the quarrel today. I looked back after 5 days and felt boring."
Facing the relationship, I reappeared. Qu Youning is now at ease. For his ideal partner, his age, career, and background are not a problem. He expects to be natural. "The more natural the better, the better it will be. Naturally, it will last longer. Any grievance and perseverance may cause problems."
Respect and spiritual harmony are the only two standards of his love for love.
As long as you have a little happiness every day, middle-aged life is still worth looking forward to
As for his career, it is still in full swing. The gay pure love movie "The Name Engraved in Your Heart" he supervises will be released in June, with the protagonists being two young boys.
"My creation has not been concerned about middle-aged yet, but your visit also reminded me that there are many questions to talk about in this section, not just about retirement, children, and family issues. For example, how to maintain a relationship is also important."
Finally, Qu Youning gave every middle-aged friend who always sacrificed himself and devoted his family to his family: try to make everyone in the family stand up and think about himself more.
Even if you are not happy now, as long as you can be happy every day and make progress every day, the life you are looking forward to will eventually come.
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