"I only have my things, I only have my responsibilities, I only have my responsibilities, I only have the responsibilities I should do. No one wants to strengthen my responsibilities that are not my responsibilities to me, otherwise, I will be willing to break them with you, and I will destroy everything in front of you! ”
The above paragraph is a circle of friends that a divorced woman has found. From this passage, it is not difficult to see that marriage was taken by her initiative to give up. In that marriage, she was forced to add responsibility and obligations that were not her own, and violated her bottom line and principles.
Yesterday, a reader left a message. Although she was also strongly promoted and responsible by her in-laws, her experience was much more serious than the experience of the woman above, because it was not a simple matter of money when it involved the child.
I divorced because I suffered from my in-laws' family and my ex-husband.
Before talking about my in-laws' family, let me talk about my in-laws' sister-in-law's sister-in-law.
Although my sister-in-law is over 20 years old and has already worked, she is still a very rebellious person. The feeling she gives is that her age will always be in adolescence.
Although she had a fight with me, our relationship was average, like strangers, and almost didn't say much, but just said hello.
If she was a very inconspicuous person, I would not pay much attention to her. Unfortunately, her rebelliousness is too much like Zhang Rong. She always quarrels with her mother-in-law and my ex-husband, so it is difficult for me to not pay attention to her.
The mother-in-law urged her to get married, but she always opposed it and sang remarks, saying that she wanted to be single, saying that even if she became a big leftover woman, even if she became an old girl, she would be nothing to say.
If she could really say and do it, there would be no tragedy later.
If she could always be held responsible for herself, or if she said rebellion was based on the foundation of her love, there would be no subsequent tragedy.
Sadly, what she did was completely unrelated to the above two points.
She said she would not get married, but she turned a blind eye before long. She not only fell in love with others, but also became pregnant. This doesn't count, and the more important thing is that she has been confused, making it seem like the pregnant person is not her.
As a result, my stomach became bigger and bigger in the end, and I confessed to my home even if I couldn't hold on.
The mother-in-law asked her to take her boyfriend home to discuss the marriage, saying that this matter could not be delayed and that she must start a marriage and that men must be responsible. However, at this time, my sister-in-law couldn't find the man.
The reason why I say that my sister-in-law is stupid and sad is that he doesn't know the other party's background, and he doesn't know where the other party's home is, and he gets into a child without poop. He is really too irresponsible to himself.
The mother-in-law was afraid of letting go, so she asked her sister-in-law to give up the child, but the sister-in-law started to play rebellious again, saying that she had to give birth to the child, saying that no one needed to care, and saying that she could raise the child herself.
But the result is: the child was born, and the younger sister left the house and left the mother-in-law directly. She left the house herself, and I don’t know what she was thinking.
I know this is a life, not a thing. However, this is the little sister-in-law's child, and she gave her mother-in-law to her, so it should be that her mother-in-law is responsible for nourishing her. However, my mother-in-law actually shirked her responsibility and ordered me to take care of this child.
She thought that she could not succeed in placing pressure on me by herself, so she summoned all her husband's relatives to placing pressure on me, asking me to take care of my sister-in-law's children, and ordered me to write a guarantee book to not regret it. My ex-husband also joined the camp.
The mother-in-law took a head and told me, "Daughter-in-law, you must raise your children for your sister-in-law. This is the order!" It just so happens that the child is a boy. Just take care of this child with my son. You don’t have to have a baby yourself! ”
My answer is clear: “ I don’t eat baba! ”
For such a thing, even if they beg me with great enthusiasm, I will not answer, because this is not my responsibility and obligation, and I don’t need to bear it. And they ordered me, haha, it's even more impossible for me to accept it, so I won't eat this kind of bastard, I'm willing to divorce. (From rabbit)
To rabbit:
There is no error in having your own principles and bottom line, you don’t want to do things you don’t want to do, you don’t want to accept your own responsibilities and duties, you don’t want to be forced to be forced to be entrusted with responsibility and duties, you don’t want to do this, you think you are wrong in doing this, they have problems themselves.
Since you have left a bad marriage, I hope that after you say it, you can clear the line between you and the past plan, and don’t be affected by this bad experience. When you face the marriage again in the future, you can clearly explain this possible moral strife in advance, and don’t be afraid. (From Donglin Xiting)
Donglin Xiting's emotional suggestions:
Many people live, not because they do not have their own principles and bottom lines, but because they dare not firmly adhere to their principles and bottom lines. They will always be moved when facing other people's moral strife, and invisibly give rise to ideas similar to &ldquo if I do not accept other people's requests, will it become a big mistake.
In fact, it is not necessary. It is not wrong to hold on to your own principles and stand on the spot. It is unreasonable for others to ask you to do your special things. If someone asks you to help, you can consider helping you or not, but if someone orders you, then go to his! Otherwise, if you feel wronged and accept other people's unreasonable requests, you will always feel wronged afterwards..
Especially when you are in a marriage, you must remember that some things can be coordinated, made steps, made connections, and made arrangements, but not everything should be done like this. Otherwise, you will be forced into a dead end or a dead end, and you will have no space and life in your own way, which is too interesting.
This article is reproduced from Donglin Xiting Public Number